married to a resident: the very beginning

More than adoption or Safe Families or anything else, I get emails from blog readers asking about what it’s like to be married to a med student. I certainly don’t think I’m an expert, and I do think I nabbed an especially exceptional guy. I am always happy to share this aspect of our lives, though… especially with those a couple years back questioning if it’s possible to date and marry a med student. (It is!)

Now, I’m married to resident. It really snuck up on us, what with the adoption stuff and Safe Families kiddos. I’m so happy we both had about a month off work to connect and explore, because, uh, apparently the first year of being a resident — the intern year — is really rough? I believe it, yes, but we are going into it with high hopes for the ways we will grow as a couple.

Thankfully, the residency program Dan was most interested in is also very, very family-oriented. We went to a welcome party, and I couldn’t believe the number of kids there running around. (They were having a heyday in the play room inside when the photo was taken.) We had Miss C with us, and I really appreciated how Dan’s classmates and faculty welcomed her right into the group, despite her being rather scared of everyone for a while. 

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This past weekend, Dan’s program hosted a Wellness Retreat for residents and their significant others. Again, proof of the interest they have in their residents’ families. A lot of time was spent talking about sleep habits, including the amount of sleep we all need to function best. No problem there for me… I love my sleep time. Dan is sometimes too eager to sacrifice sleep to spend time with me, though. We learned about ways we can encourage a good amount of quality sleep for our resident significant others, too.

Later, we split into groups — singles, dating/married without kids, dating/married with kids, and dating/married and both working as doctors or other professionals. We went into the married with kids group, and we soaked up the wisdom a doctor and his wife shared with everyone. 

We really found we’re already doing a lot of things they recommend to keep your marriage healthy and your kids happy. (That’s not to say we won’t be challenged in all this as time goes on.) There are a few things, especially related to parenting, that we’re excited to start doing, as well.

Dan’s first real shift in the emergency department is this week. I’m excited for his crazy stories to start up again. And I’m (nervously) excited to see myself be increasingly flexible as we deal with an ever-changing schedule, long hours, kiddos coming in and out of our house, and an unknown adoption timeline. So, deep breaths. Here begins the intern year.