4 questions to ask when considering marriage

We are loving our new church. For many reasons. One is that the leaders know how to appropriately encourage single people and married people. And they encourage us all to form relationships and experience life together (or “do life,” as churches like to say). No 20-something singles-only Bible studies here!

We’ve been working through 1 Corinthians, and the recent weeks have been focused on singleness, engagement, and marriage. This past week, we studied 1 Corinthians 7:25-40. Paul writes a lot about those who are single (unmarried). Our pastor pulled out four questions to ask when considering marriage. Being Gospel-centered and so spot on, I have to share them.

If you’re single, I think they’re worth considering. If you’re not, these could be useful for encouraging friends pursuing marriage.


1. Is this the right season? Am I pushing for marriage even though I know now is not the right time for me?
– The wrong season may be during college, after college with huge debt, times you are grieving the loss or death of a significant person, when you are facing a health crisis, a time when you are recovering from an addiction, or right after you have become a Christian.

2. Is it for the right reason? Do I have the right motivation to be married?
– The wrong motivation may be because you are overwhelmed with lust, you desire sex, your parents expect you to get married, you are worried that you’re getting too old, your friends are telling you it’s time, you are compulsive, or you are fearful.

3. Am I free from anxiety? 
– Anxiety about marriage may be related to worrying about your reputation, a need to have children, or a belief that you need a spouse to be happy/cared for/successful. Your significance is not tied up in marriage or children. He has purchased your life. You are His.

4. Am I pursuing this person with clarity and purity? 
– Paul is speaking mostly to men here. But ladies, I struggled with this one, too. I think clarity can be especially hard for us. Make up your mind, and discern if it is in line with what God would have for you. Make your intentions clear to your man. (And Dan is going to write another post for men soon. Because I know they do not always make their intentions clear to you, ladies. I do not like it, and Dan does not like it, either.)

[All credit for these questions goes to Brandon Shields, pastor at Soma Church!]


Read other posts in this series.