for single Christian men


As promised, Dan has some encouragement for single Christian men. 

Can I encourage you for a second? Can I challenge you?

First and foremost, I want to emphasize the fact that I believe the most important thing we do in life is to honor and serve God. Christianity was revolutionary in its day because it did not hold up any one nationality, family background, or relationship status over another—it simply bids us to come and die to ourselves. We can idolize our relationship status as the ultimate — single or married.

That being said, I have noticed a trend in the church toward men holding off on pursuing relationships with women, instead choosing to keep their options open in the name of independence and freedom. All the while, our churches are filled with top-notch single women who are eager to pursue a God-given call toward marriage. These women are godly. They’re talented. They’re passionate. And they’re waiting for godly men to pursue them.

We haven’t made it easy on them in some cases. We sit back and wait for overt interest from them. We allow ourselves to remain out of touch with what it takes to pursue a woman. We dodge the questions and necessary conversations. We fear commitment.

I’d ask you to do something simple today: consider whether or not you are interested in pursuing marriage at this time in your life. Ask yourself these questions.

If you aren’t ready for marriage, it’s appropriate to step back. Stop inviting that nice girl from church on date-like activities without making your intentions clear. Stop leading her into intimate conversations. Stop being willfully ignorant about her emotions.

And if you are interested in marriage? Be bold! Observe her. Ask her out on a date. You may be turned down a couple times, and this is okay. Learn from these experiences. Be humble and teachable.

But if it works, get to know her. Pursue her with clarity and purity. Make your intentions known. 

Walk forward with much prayer and discernment. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Love her well. Learn to appreciate her for her strengths and encourage her in her weaknesses. Don’t scrutinize her as if you’re buying a used car. There is no such thing as a perfect wife, so stop looking for her.

If you believe God is leading you to marry her, propose! There will never be a perfect time. You will never have enough money or enough wisdom. God will provide! 

My goal in writing this is not to tell you that you need to go out and get you a wife right now. I’m simply asking you to be intentional. Intentional to yourself about your goals in this stage of life. Intentional about being in prayer for your future. Intentional about pursuing a woman when God is calling you to marriage. Let’s encourage one another in this. Let’s go forward with confidence.


Read other posts in this series.

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  • Good stuff from both of you! I love reading this blog!!!

    • natalie

      thank you, Jess!

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  • Loved this post brother! As one of those Christian women praying and trusting the Lord to provide a godly mate,I was very encouraged by your advice given to Christian young men. I especially agreed with the first point- that the most important thing that men need to be pursuing is a deep relationship with Jesus. It is only out of a deep understanding and awareness of the gospel and who Jesus is that we’re even able to begin to know how to love others. Thanks for sharing!

  • monique

    Beautiful! Thank you

    • natalie

      you’re welcome! I’m glad he wrote this one.

  • Labrat

    Incredible advice brother! I am a 25 year old God fearing man with a good job and for the past few years I have been really discouraged. Every time I considered approaching a woman I was interested in, I was given the brush off and considering my last relationship was extremely hurtful and damaging to me, it has made me very skittish. I would love to have the honor of treating a godly woman as my queen and cherish her, but as of yet, I haven’t found her. My standards aren’t impossible as I know no one is perfect including myself. I know God is in control and in His perfect timing, coupled with my perseverance and effort, He will provide.