adoption on the mountaintop

October 2010, Austin, Texas

I was that girl going alone to an adoption conference as a single graduate student.

On my first afternoon in Austin, I drove to Mount Bonnell, a lookout high above Lake Austin. With my camera, I climbed the stairs to the top and found a spot for me and my thoughts. It was quiet and calm (and hot).

Mount Bonnell at sunset, Austin, Texas

I was so nervous and uncertain. Would I stick out? Was this even worth my time and money? Was I crazy to think adoption would play a role in my life?

But I couldn’t shake the belief that God has given me this passion for a reason. Though that reason was still so obscure…

Was I supposed to work in the field of adoption? Was I supposed to live overseas devoting my days to caring for kids in an orphanage? Was I supposed to adopt as a single person? Would I get married and become a foster parent?

Mount Bonnell at sunset, Austin, Texas

I definitely wanted answers, and I had travelled to this conference hoping it would provide clear direction for my life and teach me what to do to prepare.

But then I was reminded of something I’ve struggled to believe my whole life while up on that mountaintop. In the quietness and the calmness with the sun slipping below the horizon, I sensed God telling me this: I will take care of it. I will direct your steps. Just prepare. 

The conference didn’t answer my questions, of course, because only He can. But it did increase a passion and desire I thought I maybe had to an undeniable this-will-be-part-of-your-story degree.

Like so others times in the Bible, God met me on the mountaintop. He reminded me of a Truth I know but struggle to believe. And here I am today, still listening to Him sayI will take care of it. I will direct your steps. Just prepare. 

Mount Bonnell at sunset, Austin, Texas

Got teary writing this one! This conference was four years ago this weekend and a few days after I met Dan for the first time.

This is the sixth post in my 31 Days series. This page will be updated each day with the newest post, if you want to come back to it from time to time.

moments that mattered to me // 31 days @ little things + big stuff