My husband and I spend a lot of time together. Despite all this time together, I still ache for more conversation.
I love conversation. I think I could never get enough. I love the insights others make about my life. I love being challenged by questions I’ve never considered. I love hearing, “Is that true, or are you just saying it?” I love when Dan thinks hard to accurately describe his feelings. I love the way I can see his reeling mind through the expression on his face.
After a sweet cousin’s wedding in Virginia, we headed for a cabin in a tiny town in West Virginia. We went out for a nice dinner on the first night in town.
It was a romantic spot, and I couldn’t help but listen to the conversations of our couples there. One was on their honeymoon… They didn’t want dessert, because they had “tons of cake at home.” The other was celebrating their first wedding anniversary after being together for 13 years. They requested more spice be added to their food.
And then me and Dan? We are at a weighty point in our marriage. We’re having so much fun, but there’s still a bit of an ache for something different.
We want very much to grow our family. And we believe very much that adoption is the best plan for our family. As we consider growing our family and the growing pains that will come with that, we know we need to rely on the community God has given us.
So we talked about our marriage and our desire to have children. We talked about the community we have here in Indianapolis and in other parts of the Midwest and on some parts of online. It was a frustrating conversation, really. Nothing is exactly how we want it to be, yet everything is exactly how God has arranged it to be.
I usually have to prod Dan to get him about how he really feels. But he summed up his feelings on it all quite simply without my prompting.
“I’m 70 percent excited and 30 percent nervous,” he said, stabbing another toasted gnocchi.
“Me too,” I said. “Ah, well… actually… let’s go with 60/40.” I’ve always been the nervous one.