how to not overshare and Daring Greatly

how to not overshare from Daring Greatly

When I did 31 posts on young marriage last year, I shared about social media, my marriage, and what I won’t post. I’ve revisited this multiple times as a reminder. I believe it is damaging to our relationships to overshare online (and in person), and it’s just plain awkward for the rest of us to watch.

I’m now starting to consider social media, my children, and what I won’t post. I’ve observed different ends of the spectrum. I’m hoping to find a balance between encouraging others with my personal experiences and protecting the integrity of my children’s stories. It’s going to be hard. And I’m certain it will be always evolving. (Recommendations for how to do this, moms?)

Brené Brown shares her own more general take on how not to overshare in Daring Greatly. I made it a note on my cell phone to revisit when questioning myself.

How to not overshare:

+ Only share what you’ve worked through and feel you can share from “solid ground.”

+ Share parts of yourself to “teach or move a process forward” but disclosing information to work through your personal stuff is inappropriate.

+ Only share when you have no unmet needs you’re trying to fill by sharing.

[source: Daring Greatly by Brené Brown]

What is your rule of thumb for what to say — on social media or in person — and what not to say?

Disclosure: Affiliate links used. 

  • Jennifer

    I don’t share anything about our marriage on social media outside of praise (new job, finishing a college course, etc) or wishing him a happy bday/anniversary. I don’t understand how people think it’s ok to air their problems on social media, as if it’s going to solve them. It’s annoying and just makes me sad that they need that kind of attention.

    As for what you share about your children.. it will be hard. There’s a lot of good that could come from sharing the process and how you guys overcome difficulties, but you have to respect their privacy as well. I’m just excited to follow your journey, and am grateful for all the wonderful things that you share on here.

    • I cringe when social media is used to air any problems, really! even with family, friends, strangers, etc. yikes. thanks for your encouragement!

  • MadisonMayberry

    Hmm it’s certainly interesting to think about! I had to think about what I thought was over-sharing when I was going through our miscarriages and our difficult beginning of this pregnancy. I did want to make sure I wasn’t just emotionally pouring my guts out without any processing first, but at the same time I didn’t want to wait to share until I had fully processed, because, heck, I still haven’t fully processed everything. I guess that ultimately it was just a matter of personal preference. I also like to let posts sit in my drafts folder for at least a day to make sure I feel good about them.

    • it’s hard to find a balance, isn’t it? I definitely use blogging to process, to some extent, but I hope to do not share it until most of my processing has been done in my mind, in prayer, and with Dan.

  • MeandMySoldierMan

    These are really well articulated. I’ve tried following these same guidelines but never seen them written out quite like that.

    • Brene Brown is just great. I’ve also tried to follow these, and I agree it was great to see them written out so clearly.

  • These are great guidelines for sharing on social media and online. I always hate seeing when my friends complain about their spouse or their children on Facebook or other social media. I always think of how terrible it would feel to be the spouse.. or the child if/when they saw those things. I have a list of topics that I won’t talk about on my blog, and I won’t share pictures of my family (and especially of my niece and nephew), unless it’s like, a hand or something. I’m just not comfortable with that.

    • pictures are something I really need to think about! I’ve seen them taken and misused in other people’s cases… it’s scary, and I don’t think I want to deal with it!