the question I wasn’t prepared for

I’ve gotten the question many times now. Several times while we waited in Utah for approval to bring Milo home. Twice on Mother’s Day. Always at the pediatrician’s office. Often when I’m dressed younger than my age would convey.

“Is he your first?”

When asked by a stranger in places we don’t frequent, my answer is “yes.” When asked by a stranger I may actually see again, my answer is “yes and no.” Those who know me well don’t even have to ask.

My initial reaction was to feel a little ho-hum-I-am-sad about the question. All the answers just feel blah. I don’t seem to be doing justice to the story God has written for us if  I don’t give the full, long story which includes all the growth and learning and clearly awesome steps of our journey to parenthood. And on Mother’s Day, I just kind of felt an overwhelming frustration about why God chose to write this story this way. 

But, our story and this question are worth celebrating, right? Yes, Milo is our first! And yes, Theo and Elliot were also our firsts! Technically, we have never had one first, because we have twins! And our road to parenthood is fun and unique. God has given us a unique story to tell, and it is our privilege to tell it to strangers and good friends through our words and actions. 


  • Hugs 🙂

  • Ashley Smith

    I never considered that question before! Yes and no is a perfectly fine answer! If I were the asker, I’d be thrilled to learn you have two others. 🙂 I suppose once the other little guys arrive the question will be a little less relevant? Anyway, I’m praying for your complete family unit. I hope you’ll all be together soon.